best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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