You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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