Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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