mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
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My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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