Fuck appropriateness.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
