I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
