ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
He called his prostate his "boner button".
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
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