Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
