I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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