i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
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OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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