did you get engaged???
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
