Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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