Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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