I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize