He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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