I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
