he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
if only i could text you this smell
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
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Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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