New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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