yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
