I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
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