Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
