it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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