no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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