i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????