Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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