My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?