I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
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