when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year