I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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