How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
