You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I'm like, not good at living.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
