Sry I called you an 8
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
