So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
We need to rekindle our bromance
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
