They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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