I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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