you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
