I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
