Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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