Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize