I'm eating all of the evidence.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
