u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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