If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
