Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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