first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize