he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
