Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
