hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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