Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I am naked and annoyed.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
