dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
