first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
