I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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