Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
and she was petting her beer can
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
