The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
