Its about making memories worth repressing
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
