This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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