farters have to be the big spoon...
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
