Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
