dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
