My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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