Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
