Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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