Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
