Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
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Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
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My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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