worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
