You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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