Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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