it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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