is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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