now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
