I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
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